Coming Up in December (2016)

As everyone’s about to get out of school for about a month, the weather also starts to turn cold. You know what that means? That means anyone who makes movies is about to start putting out a bunch of really cool movies to keep us entertained while we’re stuck inside because of snowdrifts. So here’s what’s coming up in December (and keep in mind these are probably your last options before they start announcing Oscar nominees).

December 2:

Man Down

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When U.S. Marine Gabriel Drummer (Shia LaBeouf) returns home from Afghanistan, he finds that the place he called home is now as bad as the battlefield he fought on in the East. He and his best friend set out to find his wife and son in this new post-apocalyptic America. Drama, Thriller. Rated R for some disturbing violence and language throughout. Likelihood I’ll go see it: While the description of the film and the trailer look like they’re telling different stories, both of them sound like something I’d enjoy (at least a little).

Pet

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A man bumps into an old flame from high school and becomes obsessed, leading him to kidnap her and keep her captive under the animal shelter where he works. But perhaps the victim has more in store for the assailant than he has for her. Horror, Thriller. Rated R for strong bloody violence, some grisly images, and brief sexuality. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I’m getting a very strong Don’t Breathe (2016) vibe from this one. And I always need more movies like Don’t Breathe in my life. 

Jackie

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After the assassination of her husband of President John F. Kennedy, First Lady Jackie Kennedy must fight through her grief and trauma to regain her faith in the world, console her children, and fight to definite and maintain the legacy of “Camelot” that she and her husband had been creating. Biography, Drama. Rated R for brief strong violence and some language. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I don’t know much about this period in history, really, but I do love Natalie Portman. 

Anonymous

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Alex Danyliuk (Callan McAuliffe) is learning the ins and outs of computer programming when his family hits financial trouble and he turns to a life of online crime and identity theft. His deeds catch the attention of Sye (Daniel Eric Gold), a hustler, and they join to cause financial market chaos that lands them in the gaze of the FBI and Z, a mysterious figure who heads an online crime group. Based on a true story. Crime, Drama, Thriller. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This kind of looks like Mr. Robot as a film…may just watch that instead. 

Incarnate

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A scientist (Aaron Eckhart) with the ability to enter the subconscious of anyone possessed by demons works to save a young boy who is in the grips of the most powerful demon that he’s ever encountered. Horror, Thriller. Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of horror violence, terror, disturbing images, brief strong language, sensuality and thematic elements. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This looks like it could either  be very good (a new take on possession story, at least) or very bad. Which usually means it will be very bad. 

SiREN

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A bachelor party quickly turns into a desperate fight for survival when a groomsman unleashes a fabled predator upon the festivities. Based on the segment Amateur Night from the 2012 horror anthology V/H/S. Horror. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I’m getting a very American Horror Story vibe from this one, but somehow I still am liking it. Chalk it up to a maybe. 

Run the Tide 

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Rey (Taylor Lautner) gave up his chance at college and a normal life to raise his younger half brother when their drug-addicted mother goes to prison. When she is released, determined to rebuild their family, Rey kidnaps his brother in the hopes of keeping the family they built together. Drama. Rated PG-13 for thematic content, language and a scene of sexuality. Likelihood I’ll go see it: While the trailer seems to tell me most of the story…I am a sucker for Taylor Lautner, especially now that he’s doing something that looks interesting. 

December 4

Girlfriends of Christmas Past

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Three strong-willed women join forces to seek revenge on their cheating ex boyfriend at the upcoming holiday retreat. Comedy, Romance. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: There is so little on this movie that I can’t even find a trailer, does it really exist? And why does it feel like I’ve seen it before anyway?!

December 9

Nocturnal Animals

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An art gallery owner (Amy Adams) receives a copy of her ex-husband (Jake Gyllenhaal)’s novel, which she interprets as a threat of revenge. Drama, Thriller. Rated R for violence, menace, graphic nudity and language. Likelihood I’ll go see it: It kind of looks like a western Girl on a Train, but without a book as source material maybe I’ll enjoy it more. 

Office Christmas Party 

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When his uptight CEO sister (Jennifer Aniston) threatens to shut down his branch, the manager (T.J. Miller) and his Chief Technical Officer (Jason Bateman) decide to throw an epic Christmas party to charm their dream client and make the sale that will save their jobs. Comedy. Rated R for sex and nudity, profanity, frightening/intense scenes and some drug use. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I prefer my Christmas movies with a little less Hangover in them, thank you very much. 

Abattoir

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An investigative reporter (Jessica Lowndes) is trying to solve the mystery behind a mysterious man who has been buying houses where tragedies have occurred after her sister’s family is murdered. Their house is bought and the murder room has been physically removed from the rest of the building.  Horror, Thriller. Rated R. Likelihood I’ll go see it: The concept seems interesting and I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it before.  I might try it out. 

All We Had

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Thirteen-year-old Ruthie (Stefania LaVie Owen) and her mother Rita (Katie Holmes) teeter on the edge of poverty, despite working multiple jobs. They head east in search of a better life and end up in the small town of Fat River. Drama. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Eh. It looks like a movie I”ll maybe see with my mom, but not on my own. 

Befikre

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Dharam (Ranveer Singh) comes to Paris for work and in search of adventure and bumps into wild, free-sprirted Shyra (Vaani Kapoor). A feisty romance begins where both personalities are an equal match for the other and push each other to the limit. Comedy, Crime, Romance. Unrated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Honestly I don’t think this one is even going to get into a theater near me, but I’m okay with that really.

Frank and Lola

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A psychosexual noir love story about love, obsession, sex, betrayal, revenge, and the search for redemption. Crime, Drama, Mystery. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I am not a huge fan of noir – maybe if it comes to the artsy theater near me. 

The Bounce Back

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Father, author and relationship expert Matthew Taylor (Shemar Moore) is on a book tour to promote his bestseller about bouncing back from bad relationships. Talk show therapist Kristin Peralta is convinced that he’s nothing but a hack. Both their lives are turned upside down the more time that they spend together. Romance. Rated PG-13 for sexual content, language and brief drug use. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Well I definitely need to see Shemar Moore and what he decided to do instead of Criminal Minds! But it does look like a cute movie, so I may enjoy it anyway. 

Spectral

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A special ops team is dispatched to fight supernatural beings in a battle-torn city where civilian casualties are rising. Sci-Fi, Thriller. Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi combat action. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I couldn’t find a trailer for this one either, but apparently it was picked up by Netflix, so if it comes there I can take a look. 

December 16

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

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Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) is a Rebellion soldier and criminal who is sent on a mission to steal the plans for the Death Star, which is rumored to have been designed by her missing father (Mads Mikkelsen), setting up the original Star Wars saga. Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi. Rated PG-13 for extended sequences of sci-fi violence and action. Likelihood I’ll go see it: In all honesty, I am not as excited for this movie as I have been for past Star Wars films, if only because we already know how it ends. But I will see it, and hopefully it will still be entertaining for me. 

La La Land

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A jazz pianist (Ryan Gosling) falls for an aspiring actress (Emma Stone) in Los Angles, but as they face decisions about the dreams they worked so hard to reach, their fragile love affair is threatened. Comedy, Drama, Musical. Rated PG-13 for some language. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I’m not a huge fan of either lead (and why do they always seem to get paired together anyway?) and this genre is usually the type of musical I avoid. Probably a skip for me. 

Collateral Beauty

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When a successful New York executive (Will Smith) suffers a personal tragedy, he retreats from public life and his friends while seeking answers from the universe, writing letters to Love, Time and Death. When his notes bring unexpected personal responses, he begins to understand how these constants form a fully-lived life and reveal moments of meaning. Drama. Rated PG-13 for thematic elements and brief strong language. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This actually looks like a very touching movie, especially for the holiday season. I’ll definitely give it a try. 

Neruda

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An inspector (Gael Garcia Bernal ) hunts down the Nobel Prize-winning Chilean poet, Pablo Neruda (Luis Gnecco), for jointing the Communist party. Neruda becomes a fugitive in his own country as he leads the inspector on a wild chase. Biography, Drama. Rated R for sexuality/nudity and some language. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This is another one that probably won’t get anywhere near me, except for the artsy theaters. I’ll probably miss it. 

December 21

Passengers

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A spacecraft traveling to a distint colony 120 years away has a malfunction and two of its passengers, Jim Preston (Chris Pratt) and Aurora Dunn (Jennifer Lawrence) wake 90 years early. As they try to understand how to live on this ship without reaching their destination, it becomes apparent that they may have been awoken for a purpose. Adventure, Drama, Romance, Sci-Fi. Rated PG-13 for sexuality, nudity, and action/peril. Likelihood I’ll go see it: On the one hand, nothing I’ve ever seen Jennifer Lawrence in has ever made me enjoy her performances. On the other hand, literally everything else about this movie looks interesting. I’ll just cross my fingers that the romance isn’t as big a deal as the first trailer made it look…

Assassin’s Creed

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Through revolutionary technology that unlocks genetic memories, Callum Lynch (Michael Fassbender) is able to gain the skills of his ancestor Aguilar, who was a Master Assassin in the 15th century. Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Sci-Fi. Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, thematic elements and brief strong language. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I’ve never even played these games. Really this just looks like a slightly-less Lord of the Rings-y Warcraft. 

Sing

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The koala director Buster Moon (Matthew McConaughey) has one chance to restore his theater to former glory: by producing the world’s greatest singing competition. Among the competitors are a gorilla trying to escape his father’s gang, a house mom pig, and an elephant with anxiety issues. Animation, Comedy, Drama, Family, Music. Rated PG for some rude humor and mild peril. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Despite my dislike for other Illumination projects, this looks cute. I might try it out. 

Julieta

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Julieta (Emma Suarez) lives in Madrid with her boyfriend and is about to move to Portugal when she causally encounters Bea, the former best friend of her daughter Anita that has been living in Switzerland with her husband and children for twelve years. Upset about her lack of connection with her daughter, Julieta cancels her move and decides to confront her life and the decisions she’s made. Drama, Romance. Rated R for some sexuality/nudity. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This doesn’t look like something I would enjoy watching, so unless it gets into one of the cheaper theater here, probably not on my list. 

Dangal

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Former wrestler Mahavir Singh Phogat (Aamir Khan) wants songs to train so that they can win the gold, but when he has only daughters, he decides to train them to become the first female wrestlers to win the gold medal he covets. Action, Biography, Drama, History, Sport. Unrated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This looks interesting, I’ll have to look around for it most likely but I’d like to try it. 

December 23

Why Him?

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Over the holidays, overprotective and loving father Ned (Bryan Cranston) travels with his family to visit his daughter Stephanie (Zoey Deutch) at Stanford where he meets her boyfriend, a billionaire and eccentric Laird (James Franco). A rivalry develops between the two, and Ned is determined to win when he learns that Laird plans to ask Stephanie to marry him. Comedy. Rated R. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Eh, this looks less fun than Dirty Grandpa was. If I go it’ll just be for Bryan Cranston.

December 25

Fences

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An African-American father (Denzel Washington) struggles with raising his family in the 1950s amid race relations and the disappointments of his own life. Drama. Not Yet Rated. Based on Tony Award Winner play. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This one looks pretty interesting, and Denzel and Viola are reprising their roles from the Broadway production so they know the story/characters well. They should do a great job. 

Toni Erdmann

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A father tries to reconnect with his adult daughter who is a workaholic and doesn’t take time to enjoy herself. Comedy, Drama. Rated R for strong sexual content, graphic nudity, language and brief drug use. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Again, this one probably isn’t coming anywhere near me. 

20th Century Women

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The story of three women who explore love and freedom in Southern California during the late 1970s. Comedy, Drama. Rated R for sexual material, language, some nudity and brief drug use. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Very slim, I’m not a huge fan of the time period and that’s a major point to the movie. 

December 28

Paterson

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Paterson (Adam Driver) is a bus driver in the city of Paterson, New Jersey, who sticks to a simple routine while his wife Laura (Golshifteh Farahani) has dreams that are huge and ever-changing. His poetry goes on to define the small triumphs and defeats of their lives. Comedy, Drama. Rated R for some language. Likelihood I’ll go see it: It looks like a very simple film, so I could see myself going either way with it. 



And those are your December movies! What do you think about the lineup? Anything you’re excited for? Anything you want to see reviewed here first? Anything that you might want to see on Christmas when you’re just feeling lazy?

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