Coming Up in April (2016)

It’s about to start raining, so it’s the perfect time to figure out what movies are going to be in theaters so you have something to do! We’re all still gearing up for summer blockbusters, but here are what you have to look forward too in April (there are a surprising amount of them).

April 1

Dead 7

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From the men who brought you Sharknado, a post-apocalyptic Western follws a group of gunslingers as they look to rid their small town of a zombie page. Horror, Western. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Back Street Boys and NSYNC fighting zombies? Maybe, if I’m really bored. 

God’s Not Dead 2

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When a high school teacher is asked a question in class about Jesus, her response sends her to court to fight for the right to express her faith and keep God in the public eye once and for all. Drama. Rated PG for some thematic elements. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I hadn’t seen anything about the first movie, but this one looks pretty interesting. I’ll have to check them both out. 

Natural Born Pranksters

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YouTube’s star pranksters Roman Atwood, Vitaly Z, and Dennis Roady take their antics to the big screen. Comedy. Rated R for crude and dangerous pranks, language throughout and sexual content. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This one I would probably wait for to be on Netflix or in a video store, but it does look funny. Just not $10 a ticket funny. 

Hello, My Name is Doris

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A self-help seminar inspires an older woman (Sally Field) to get out of her own way and live life- and she’s going to start by dating a younger coworker. Comedy, Drama, Romance. Rated R for language. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I’m not sure about this one. The younger coworker thing is kinda creepy, but it does seem like a fun movie. I’m a maybe. 

Pandemic

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A virus of epic proportions has overtaken the planet, there are more infected than uninfected, and humanity is losing its hold on survival. After the fall of New York, Doctor Lauren (Rachel Nichols) goes to Los Angles to lead a team to hunt for and rescue any uninfected survivors, as well as keep the infected contained. Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I’m still not sure how I feel about this first-person thing everyone seems to want to be doing now, but it does look like a decently made horror film. Kind of like Quarantine (2008) and I’m not going to lie, I loved Quarantine.

Meet the Blacks

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The Black family move to Beverly Hills from Chicago in hopes of a better life after their father (Mike Epps) comes into some unexpected funds. They arrive at the time of the annual purge, when all crime is legal for twelve hours, and their neighbors are not happy the Blacks are there. Parody of The Purge (2013)Comedy. Rated R for pervasive language, some sexual material, violence and drug use. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I never enjoy these kinds of parodies anyway, but I didn’t even like The Purge when they were taking it seriously. So I’m going with no. 

Miles Ahead 

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A biopic that explores the life and music of jazz musician Miles Davis (Don Cheadle). Biography, Drama, Music. Rated R for strong language throughout, drug use, some sexuality/nudity and brief violence. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I’m not a huge fan of jazz, so I don’t really know who this guy is, but I do respect Don Cheadle and Ewan McGregor. Maybe I’ll catch it. 

The Girl in the Photographs

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A bored young woman in a sleepy community called Spearfish starts to receive pictures of brutally murdered women after a team comes to town for a photo shoot. Crime, Horror, Thriller. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This either has the potential to be very good or very bad, given what I’ve seen in the trailer. Maybe on $5 Tuesdays. 

Collide

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An American backpacker (Nicholas Hoult) gets involved with a ring of drug smugglers as their driver to pay for his girlfriend’s (Felicity Jones) medical emergency. After the heist goes wrong, he finds himself on the run from his employers across Europe’s high-speed Autobahn. Action, Thriller. Rated PG-13 for violence, frenetic action, some sexuality, language, and drug material. Likelihood I’ll go see it: If this one comes to theaters near me (which somehow I doubt) I don’t think I need to spend the money to watch exploding cars. I haven’t even seen Fast and the Furious. 

April 5

Countdown

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When a madman kidnaps a young boy and rigs him with explosives, Ray (Dolph Ziggler), who is haunted by the loss of his own son, defies his captain (Kane) and takes matters into his own hands to stop the clock and beat a psychopath to save the child. Action. Rated R for violence and language. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Seems pretty cliche from the trailer. Next please. 

April 8

Hardcore Henry

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A first-person film told from the eyes of Henry, who was resurrected from death with no memory by a woman claiming to be his wife. He must discover his identity and save his wife from a warlord with a plan to bio-engineer soldiers with the tech that saved Henry’s life. Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi. Rated R for non-stop bloody brutal violence and mayhem, language throughout, sexual content/nudity and drug use. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Again, not sure how I feel about the first-person thing, but I was having a lot of James Bond video game flashbacks. I might see it just to see how the first person plays out. 

Demolition 

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A successful investment banker struggles after losing his wife in a tragic car crash. She always said he never paid attention, so he decides to take apart his life to understand what he had and build something new. Comedy, Drama. Rated R for language, some sexual references, drug use and disturbing behavior. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Pretty thin. Next please. 

Everybody Wants Some!!

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A group of college baseball players navigate their way through the freedoms and responsibilities of being unsupervised at college in the eighties. Comedy. Rated R for language throughout, sexual content, drug use and some nudity. Likelihood I’ll go see it: While I love Blake Jenner, I think this will go over better with people who actually remember the eighties…

The Boss

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The wealthiest female titan of industry is  sent to prison after being caught for insider trading. When she is released, now with no money and no friends, she is ready to rebrand herself as America’s sweetheart- and she’s going to use Girl Scouts to do it. Comedy. Rated R for sexual content, language and brief drug use. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I’m not really a huge fan of McCarthy’s brand of funny, and this movie doesn’t look like it will be a different sort of funny. Maybe if I have some extra cash. 

Mr. Right

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After going through a painful breakup, Martha (Anna Kendrick) meets a man who appears to be perfect for her. However, she slowly discovers he has one little flaw- he’s a hit man with a moral code, who kills the men from the cartels who employed him. Comedy, Romance. Rated R for violence and language throughout. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Not very high, this just seems silly to me. I can spend $10 on a more interesting movie. 

One More Time

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A faded, Sinatraseque crooner Paul Lombard plans his comeback to the world of music while his punk rock daughter Jude arrives in need of a place to hide from her own problems- including a tenuous relationship with her famous father. Comedy, Drama, Music. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Looks a little slow for my tastes. 

The Invitation

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While attending a dinner party at his former home where his ex wife has suddenly appeared after two years (with a new husband), Will begins to think that the happy new couple have sinister intentions for him and their other guests. Horror, Thriller. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This seems like a nice thought-provoking film, even if it is a year late. I might give it a shot. 

Before I Wake

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A young couple adopt a little boy who is terrified to fall asleep. They discover that his dreams manifest in reality while he sleeps, meaning that both the wonder of his imagination and the horror of his night terrors pass into their world, and they must discover the truth of these dreams to save their family. Horror, Thriller. Rated PG-13 for violent content and terror including disturbing images. Likelihood I’ll go see it: While the premise seems a little cliche, I’ve seen the trailer for quite some time and I actually am looking forward to this one. 

Louder Than Bombs

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An upcoming exhibition celebrating the life of photographer Isabelle Reed (Isabelle Huppert) brings her sons and husband Gene (Gabriel Byrne) back to the same house. Gene tries to reconnect with his sons as they struggle to reconcile their feelings about a woman they all remember differently. Drama. Rated R for language, some sexual content, nudity and violent images. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This actually looks like a very nice film, plus I really want to know where they got that title. I’ll give it a whirl. 

Memoria

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Ivan Cohen is a young boy who is unsatisfied by his slacker friends, his love for a girl who doesn’t know he exists, and a dysfunctional family life. He just wants to find his place in the world. Biography, Drama. Rated R for drug and alcohol use, pervasive language, sexuality/nudity and disturbing behavior – all involving teens. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I know less about this now than I did before I watched the trailer. I get the feeling it’s like Rebel Without a Cause (1955) and I’m not super excited for that. 

April 15

The Jungle Book

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An orphan boy is raised in the jungle by a pack of wolves, a bear, and a black panther. When a tiger threatens his safety, they must convince the boy to return to his own kind- human civilization. Adventure, Drama, Family, Fantasy. Rated PG for some sequences of scary action and peril. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Not going to lie, I was worried when I heard they were making this into a live-action film. But not only does it not look like they turned the whole thing dark, it looks amazing and fun, as well as a more adult version of the old tale. I’m so there. 

Criminal

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The memories and skills of a deceased CIA agent are implanted into the head of a convict in order to retrieve information about an imminent attack on the world. Action, Crime, Drama, Mystery, Sci-Fi, Thriller. Rated R for violence and gore, profanity, and frightening/intense scenes throughout. Likelihood I’ll go see it: While I am cautious about the fact that this is now the second movie where Ryan Reynolds is involved with body switching, it does look kinda cool. 

Colonia

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Lena (Emma Watson) and Daniel (David Brühl) becoming entangled in the Chilean military coup of 1973. Daniel is taken to Colonia Dignidad, a sect from which no one ever escaped, and Lena joins the cult to find him. Drama, History, Romance, Thriller. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: A part of me doesn’t think it will make it to theaters around me, but if it does, I’d be happy to give a chance. 

Barbershop: The Next Cut

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Ten years after the last trip to Calvin’s Barbershop, the shop has turned from male-dominated to co-ed and drama-filled. As the community takes a turn for the worse, Calvin and the crew must come together to save the shop and their neighborhood. Comedy. Rated PG-13 for sexual material and language. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I didn’t even realize this was part of a series, but despite the nice message it sounds like is in there, I’m not really impressed with what I’ve seen. 

Fan

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An Indian superstar becomes the unhealthy obsession of a Delhi-based fan with a striking resemblance and a determination to meet him. When things don’t go according to plan, the obsession turns from passion to danger. Drama, Thriller. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Now I am almost definitely sure this one isn’t coming anywhere near me, which sucks because this one actually looks really interesting. I will be on alert for it. 

Sing Street

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A boy growing up in Dublin during the 1980s starts a band to escape his strained family life and talk to the model on his street. Drama, Musical. PG-13 for thematic elements including strong language and some bullying, a suggestive image, drug material and teen smoking. Likelihood I’ll go see it: It’s like the Beatles, but not the Beatles at the same time. I’ll give this one a pass. 

Sky

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Romy (Diane Kruger) is on vacation in the U.S. with her husband when, after an ultimate fight, she breaks free and strikes out from a stable and secure life she knows for the unknown. Drama. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This one could potentially be interesting, if it comes to a theater near me. I’m keeping my eye out. 

April 22

The Huntsman: Winter’s War

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As two sisters prepare to conquer the land, two huntsmen set out to stop them from destroying everything with their war. The prequel to Snow White and the Huntsman (2012). Action, Adventure, Drama, Fantasy. Rated PG-13 for fantasy action violence and some sensuality. Likelihood I’ll go see it: While I have no idea how this will play into its sister film, it will not have Kristen Stewart. That’s already a plus. 

A Hologram for the King

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A failed American businessman looks to recoup his losses by traveling to Saudi Arabia and selling his idea to a wealthy monarch. Along the way, he tries to find a new direction for his life. Drama. Expected Rated PG-13 for  some thematic elements, brief strong language and some sexual material. Likelihood I’ll go see it: It seems alright, not sure if it’s the top of my list though. 

Elvis and Nixon

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The untold story behind the meeting between Elvis Presley, the king of rock, and President Nixon that would become the most requested photograph at the National Archives. Comedy, History. Rated R for some language. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Very slim. Elvis and Nixon just aren’t people I was that interested in. 

Nina

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The story of the late jazz musician and classical pianist Nina Simone, her rise to fame and her relationship with her manager Clifton Henderson. Biography, Drama, Music. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I do love Zoe Saldana and I’m interested in the press that’s surrounded this movie, so maybe I’ll give this a shot. 

The Meddler

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An aging widow from New York City follows her daughter to Los Angles in hopes of starting a new life after her husband passes away. Comedy, Drama. Rated PG-13 for brief drug content. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Maybe with my mom, but not right away. 

Men & Chicken

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A black comedy about two outcast brothers who discover their father was not their biological father. As they travel to meet their unknown family, they discover the truth about themselves, their relatives, and what can set them free.  Comedy, Drama, Mystery. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Very, very slim. The story doesn’t seem very fun to me. 

Precious Cargo

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After a botched heist, a crime boss (Bruce Willis) hunts down a thief who failed him. To win back his trust she recruits an ex-lover to steal a cargo of rare gems, and when the job goes wrong, alliances are betrayed. Action. Rated R for language throughout, some violence and sexual material. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Eh, it looks like most of Bruce Willis’ other films. I’ll give it a pass if it comes on TV. 

April 29

Green Room

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After witnessing a murder, a punk rock bad is forced to fight for their own survival against a group of maniacal skinheads who want to make sure all the evidence is eliminated. Crime, Horror, Thriller. Rated R for strong brutal graphic violence, gory images, language and some drug content. Likelihood I’ll go see it: I’ve heard good things about it, so I might give it a try. 

Mother’s Day

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Garry Marshall’s third of intersecting stories, this time about a single mother, a single father, an adopted daughter and a woman who never speaks to her mother who all collide on one fateful Mother’s Day. Comedy. Rated PG-13 for language and some suggestive material. Likelihood I’ll go see it: While these stories are usually cute, none of them have been particularly great. I’ll wait for this one. 

Keanu

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Two friends hatch a plot to retrieve a stolen kitten by posing as drug dealers in the market for a “gang pet”. Comedy. Rated R for violence, language throughout, drug use and sexuality/nudity. Likelihood I’ll go see it: When I first saw this trailer, I thought it was an April Fool’s joke. Skip. 

The Man Who Knew Infinity

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Growing up poor in Madras, India, Srinivasa Ramanujan (Dev Patel) earns admittance to Cambridge University during WWI. With the guidance and support of his professor, G.H. Hardy (Jeremy Irons), he overcomes prejudice to become a pioneer in mathematical theories. Biography, Drama. Rated PG-13 some thematic elements and smoking. Likelihood I’ll go see it: This one screams Oscar nomination, because it seems like it is following in the path of such nominees as The Imitation Game (2014) and The Theory of Everything (2014). So I dunno, I might try it. 

Ratchet and Clank

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Ratchet and Clank are two unlikely heroes that struggle to stop a vile alien from destroying every planet in the Solana Galaxy. When they stumble across a dangerous weapon that could destroy an entire planet, they must team up with The Galactic Rangers in order to save the galaxy. Animation, Action, Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi. Rated PG for action and some rude humor. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Eh, maybe, but I’m not super excited about it. 

Special Correspondents

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A radio journalist and his technician have been telling the public they are in South America when they report their news. After the public thinks that they’ve gone missing, the two must travel to Ecuador in the middle of a rebel uprising so they don’t go to jail. Comedy. Not Yet Rated- Appearing only on Netflix. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Well if it’s on Netflix, then I’m all for giving it a try. Plus it does seem kind of amusing. 

Papa Hemingway in Cuba

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In 1959, a young journalist (Giovanni Ribisi) travels to meet his idol, Ernest Hemingway (Adrian Sparks), in Havana, Cuba. The Cuban Revolution is coming to a boil around them and set the story of a lifetime. The first movie to be shot in Cuba since 1959. Biography, Drama. Rated R for language, sexuality, some violence and nudity. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Now normally a movie about Hemingway would seem a little dull, but this actually looks really interesting. I’ll give it a try. 

April 30

Journey 3: From the Earth to the Moon

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Sean and Hank go on their biggest adventure yet: to the moon. Action, Adventure, Fantasy. Not Yet Rated. Likelihood I’ll go see it: Based on the lack of anything to do with this movie I’ve seen, I highly doubt it’s actually coming out this April. Even if it does, I’m pretty sure I have better things to spend my money on. 

So, that’s a lot of movies this month. Seriously, April 1st alone is ridiculous.Which of these movies are you going to take advantage of? Which are you on the fence about? Let me know what movies you’d like to see reviewed!

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